As An African Feminist, I Don't Like To Be Called A "Strong Woman" – By Ose Osasenaga

 As an African feminist, I don't like to be called a "strong woman"

I do not take pride or joy, in being called that. Because I know what it means, and what it reminds me of.

It reminds me of a sacrificial lamb, that is used to fund the ambitions of others.

It reminds me of Winnie Mandela, who fought for her man , for 27yrs, he got out of jail, and her loyalty, wasn't rewarded.

It reminds me of mothers who have to raise their children ,all by themselves. And still get insults , in place of "Thank you".

It reminds me of muscles , developed from too much hard work.

It reminds me of all the skinny , bony women I saw working as labourers in building sites, in Delta state. Oh yes! That was the first time, I saw women carrying cement, and head pans..

The strong woman, reminds me of everything I don't wanna be.

I don't wanna be strong for everybody else. Why should I be?

I'm not a dull , immovable rock, positioned to offer support to all and sundry... Are you people ok?.. If you use me as a rock, without me getting anything in return, I ll fall on your head and break your neck.

I'm not that kind of African woman.

A friend of mine said to me "Jennie you're wicked "

And I laughed mischievously..When he said I was wicked, it's not because I did anything bad, but simply because I wasn't interested in offering that motherly, nurturing atmosphere, that a lot of people take for granted...

I offered that , when I felt he needed that support. But after he became stable, he seemed to have gotten used to my support.. So I withdrew it , like the speed of light..

Isn't that what millienials call "ghosting "?

I can't mother and nurture you, encourage you, be a strong support for you, and get shaft in return..No! I want something in return.

I want your loyalty, I want your resources, I want your nourishment, I want your encouragement too, I want you to speak for me, defend me, be careful with me, pamper me , speak to me nicely with respect, don't take my friendship for granted, don't assume I'm dumb like your village women...

Be cautious of what I represent , and the type of matriarch I am..

I'm not a strong black woman, I'm just strong willed enough to invest in myself, use myself, for the benefit and advancement of myself...

Because in other to nourish my seeds, my land must be fertile and full of nutrients, at all times...

I refuse to be the typical African woman, who has been drained and used for generations, and left as a walking dead...

So please , my dream is to see, the african woman, build herself up( since no one else is ready to build her), cure herself of the bitterness, that comes from being exploited.

And reposition herself , as a real leader...

Because you ve been leading for so long, yet treated like a nobody.

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Credit: Ose Osasenaga